It’s February and for most love is on the brain as Valentine’s Day approaches. Today I’m sharing four ideas to help you reconnect with your spouse this month, not because I’m an expert in relationships, but because this is something I have lived and learned.
Let me be honest; in the midst of caring for our son, managing two careers, and tending to other responsibilities, my husband and I found ourselves in a relationship rut. We weren’t doing the best at staying connected as husband and wife. We had our “aha” moment a few months ago; we realized that we felt like ships passing in the night more often than we desired. It wasn’t because of any one thing that either one of us did, we both just let everything else come before maintaining our relationship. We needed to do things differently. We needed to reconnect and being operating as one again.
Four Ideas to Reconnect
1. Talk about it, whatever “it” may be. Our moment came one evening as we sat on the couch and had a heart to heart conversation. We honestly and respectfully shared our thoughts and feelings about the current state of our relationship. That moment really helped us to dig a little deeper into areas we both could work on to make things better. From there, we developed some specific actions to help us start to reconnect. Starting your journey to reconnecting with a simple conversation might make all the difference.
2. Focus on your spiritual connection. In our family, we value our relationships with Christ. It’s important that we keep Him as the head of our individual lives and in the center of our marriage. One thing that we have often struggled with is sharing our spiritual journeys with each other and we have seen the impact of this on our relationship as husband and wife. We have recommitted ourselves to working on our spiritual connection. One thing that has helped us is doing a devotional together using the Bible app. In the past, we have tried reading devotional books, but we never could establish a consistent time. I’m a morning person, Tommy is night owl. Our schedules never meshed well to make a solid devotional time happen. As I mentioned, we have started using the Bible app’s group feature to do devotionals together. This allows us to read the devotional and accompanying scriptures and record our comments for the other to read on our own time. While we may be interacting through an app this practice has led to more spiritual conversation when we are face to face. For us, it’s been a win-win. Maybe you don’t like the idea of connecting with your spouse on a social platform. That’s fine, the point is to find what works for you, just make sure you are connecting your spiritual lives.
3. Work towards a common goal. Nothing helps you reconnect like finding a common goal that you can progress towards as a couple. We are currently doing Financial Peace University with our small group through our church. This has created the opportunity for more conversation and focuses on working toward something as a team.
4. Plan a date night. Even if it’s one date a month, make date night a priority. Since having Jaden, date night has not happened as often as it used too. When we don’t plan and make it a priority, date night happens even more infrequently. Date night doesn’t have to be extravagant, just make sure you and your spouse to have time alone to really focus on each other. A few weeks ago, Tommy and I went to dinner and movie. It felt nice to sit across from my husband and talk to him face to face, without interruption or having to rush through dinner because of a rambunctious toddler. During our date, I felt like the old Sierra. I remembered why I fell in love with and married the man sitting across from me. It was a great feeling. A simple date night changed my whole attitude and perspective.
I hope you find these ideas helpful and are encouraged to take action to reconnect with your spouse this month.
What’s one thing you can do this month to reconnect with your spouse?