Hello, friends! I’m back again with another Mama Spotlight. Today you’ll hear from Sandy. I met Sandy and her husband when I was working with a campus ministry called The Impact Movement. I recently connected with Sandy on Instagram after she shared a post about her daughter being in the toddler stage. I am in a similar stage with my daughter. Raise your hand if you remember what that’s like! Sandy shares some great insight on motherhood and the importance of friendship as we navigate mom life.

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Tell me about yourself. Who are you? What do you do? How many children do you have? 

• Mom of Three – Two boys, 10 & 8, and a 20 month old girl
• Wife to Moe, a Family Pastor at Cornerstone Church
• Stay home mom and I work part-time as a Marketing Coordinator for two brands
• A communicator at heart whether speaking, teaching a Bible study, or writing
• I’ve written devotions published in “A Time to Breath” Devotional by (in)courage and a Women’s Devotional Bible also by (in)courage
• I’m currently relaunching my personal writing on a weekly newsletter I send out called Life Across The Table.
• I love to bake all the things and express my creativity through a plethora of unfinished arts and crafts and home decor projects.

How do you define motherhood?

My view of motherhood is one of stewardship. God has blessed me with three souls for a set time that I am unaware of. They are ultimately His, but he has allowed me to birth them, nurture them, train them, disciple them – pointing them back to Him. 

Describe the stage of motherhood you are currently in.

I had my third child at the age of 40 with a seven year gap between her and my second, so I’ve felt like I’ve been in this stage of starting over. I went from having two very independent boys who were both in school to caring for a baby again. Having our sweet baby girl was a surprise and a sweet blessing from the Lord. Though, especially in the beginning, I grieved the loss of my freedom to come and go and get work done during the day while my boys were at school. Since COVID though, we’ve all been at home balancing work and school. Sometimes those lines are blurred and we’re having to create better boundaries so that we can be all there with our kids during their lessons and during family time and not working.

What do you enjoy most about this stage?

I enjoy experiencing all the firsts with my daughter and watching my husband and boys love and protect her.

What is most challenging about this stage?

The most challenging aspect is balancing the different stages they are in. 

In what ways do you connect with your boys since they are older and more independent than your daughter?

Both my husband and I try to get individual time with them as much as possible. We’ll rotate taking one of them with us when we go run an errand. We use the time to casually talk with them and maybe grab food to have a more focused conversation. 

What does self-care look like for you right now?

Waking up early before my kids to have time to myself before the day starts. Also, staying connected and spending time with friends on porches or restaurant patios. I can be such a homebody, but I’m so much better when I make myself get out or friends pull me out lol.

What has had the greatest influence on you as a parent or your parenting style?

It’s hard to pinpoint the greatest influence – my husband and I have gleaned from multiple experiences and people. Looking at our own parents and families who’ve influenced us. Learning both what we did not want to do and what we wanted to do with our children. But overall we aim for the gospel to be at the core of how we parent – sharing it with our children and even preaching it to ourselves.

Tell me the most important thing(s) you hope to pass on to your child(ren).

I hope to pass on Biblical truth and the principle of being a good steward of the things the Lord has blessed them with.

Where do you find support as a mom?

My husband and friends, both who are moms and who are not.

Can you share what you gain through your friendships with women who are not moms?

Wow, I could write a whole article on this lol. My friends who are not moms, whether because they’re single or married with no kids, remind me that life is not centered around motherhood, especially during the times when that role can feel all consuming. As much as I need my friends who are moms to talk about stuff, and we don’t even always talk about parenting, it can be refreshing to hang out with friends and know that topic isn’t going to come up. These friendships also encourage me in my parenting. You don’t have to be a mom to encourage or challenge a friend in parenting – just loving and Christ-centered. 

What’s one thing you have learned as a mom that you would tell your pre-kid self?

Not to get caught up in the false revolving door that my identity is lost and swept up in “just being a mom.” My identity is intact in Christ, being a mom is a gift from God who has also created me with other gifts and talents that he will, and has, allowed me to use in his timing – the season he has appointed.

What’s one piece of advice you want to share with other moms?

Listen when your child talks, seeking to understand asking good open-ended questions. It’s important to start at an early age to build a habit of dialogue and a foundation of trust.